What are the limits of love, in order words, what are those things that could happen, you or your loved one could do, that would kill love or dampen it?
I cracked my brain and the first answer that came up was infidelity. I think that's the major killer of love. Infidelity includes adultery, unfaithfulness, and betrayal.
Another, as the cartoon below portrays is attaching too much meaning to physical appearance. When that mortal flesh starts to show signs of aging, most persons start looking, which is wrong, somewhere else.
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Lost soul. Credit: Flickr.com/Vince Alongi
Have you heard of the “love hormone?” It is a hormone called oxytocin. It stimulates love, bonding between parents and infants, stimulates breastfeeding and also, orgasm. It’s role in controlling sexual arousal in men and women makes it a potent hormone. Synthetic oxytocin in form of nasal sprays of placebos are now available, although research is still ongoing in this area, particularly the inability of this injected hormone doses to penetrate the blood-brain barrier. On the other hand, a loving hug, a lover’s touch, a simple kiss, all these actions can naturally make oxytocin in your system.
The links below are collected from recent studies on oxytocin, the “love hormone.”
Oxytocin’s link to human emotions like love, kindness and fidelity is undeniable.
In a series of experiments, scientists found a high positive correlation between high levels of oxytocin in the blood and generosity. Also, by stimulating increased production of oxytocin, the study found that people became more generosity, and ready to offer more money. It is recommended that to increase your oxytocin levels naturally, you should engage in more positive interactions with others by hugging, complimenting and being generally amenable. Dana Foundation Blog
Social distance is an unwritten distance that people keep when they communicate. Uncomfortableness starts when communication intrudes on that distance. Flirting occurs when that social distance is broken. Research has found that oxytocin, the “love hormone”, was not instrumental in breaking down social distance and then increasing infidelity; the reverse was the case. Oxytocin, when given as a dose or nasal spray, enhanced the ability of virile men to be faithful to their partners. Oxytocin Central.Related content:Forming blind trust for a pretty face might be influenced by gestures and nonverbal cues
The relationship between social and sexual monogamy is believed to be partly chemical. Scientists love to study the prairie vole, a rodent that is socially monogamous but not so sexually to demonstrate this observation. Their studies how that chemical communications between neurons can bias our behavior and make seemingly faithful men resort to infidelity. Slate Magazine
Oxytocin is the social interaction chemical; holds promise for autism and schizophrenia.
Fightings between couples could be less troublesome by encouraging cooperation in men and making women behave more approachably if they had adequate levels of oxytocin in their blood. It has also been found to help people read social cues more accurately. What this means is that with the increased research in producing an oxytocin drug, people with socially impairing conditions like autism and schizophrenia could be helped to more interact with others. AdvertCollege text books at great discounts of 25- 45%Oxytocin also tunes the stress system to generate the best response in order to reduce conflict. Time: Health & Family
Using intranasal drug administration, aka “sniffing”, a study found that oxytocin can function as a social hormone facilitating trust and other affiliative behaviors. People with high levels of plasma oxytocin are more likely to be more trusting. PLOS
Fathers who received oxytocin nasal sprays or placebo indulged more in baby talk and reciprocal interaction with their infants. Oxytocin has been found to be critical in pruning the brain processes involved in responding to stress and in social interactions. Oxytocin may be a key binding between early nurture or lack thereof. Time: Health & Family
Oxytocin’s ability to promote monogamy in men may normally depend on the presence of a close positive relationship in the bond with their female partners and close physical proximity between the couple. This means that leaving your man for long periods of time could be allowing him to be prey to other women. Women could increase the faithfulness of their partners by engaging in behaviors that stimulate his oxytocin release, including intimate relations. Time: Health & Family.
Related content:Chose: remind people of money and dominate them, or other values and have their hand of friendshipAdvertFiske Interactive Online allows students and parents to search online through profiles and photos of the 316 best and most interesting colleges and universities in the U.S., Canada, and Great Britain featured in the Fiske Guide to Colleges 2012.
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My last blog post on office lies dwelt on one not expecting his colleagues to be lying friends when he has committed a punishable crime because they might get punished for it. It was emphasized that although friendship is important, propriety or the sense of duty lies above friendship. This piece will explain why, although your friends might not tell on you until asked, but where the possibility of punishment exists, they will surely bring you to book if they think your crime made you better off than them.
If you live in a lawless society, it is not surprising that people take laws into their hands when a criminal is caught. One of the reasons is that money confers political and social power on people. In lawless societies, giving such power to criminals is a dangerous thing. Sometimes, the police turn blind to such jungle justice.
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People behave in unreasonable ways when money is at stake. So, if after being engaged in wrongdoing and you expect your friends to cover-up for you, better make sure you did not gain any monetary benefit from your crime. If you did, it would instill a negative emotion on them that will draw up a desire to make sure you get punished. This is because they will compare the power and prestige your extra wealth would have conferred on you above theirs, and make sure you pay for it.
Would the criminal retaliate?
When one commits an office crime, he is trying to take advantage of others. Firms exist because of the transaction and production costs associated with providing goods and services for the greater public. People who work in such firms have agreed to live by a company rule and regulation, sacrificing their own personal gain - like working extra hours, going on training - in order to make sure the firm succeeds. By committing a crime, you are taking advantage of the generous sacrifices of your colleagues.
Yet, people do it all the time because they will gain material advantages over others. When found out, rather than get a sympathetic ear from friends, they get punished. Whether that punishment is accepted or the criminal retaliates in kind, depends on the society concerned. Where the society places law and order ahead of personal material gains, such criminals find it more difficult to retaliate. Hence they accept the punishment. Where the society is lawless, parochial or authoritarian, the criminals have found it easy to retaliate. Hence, people usually take matters into their hands. You can see why people hesitate to cooperate with a cheat or criminal? Because they violate corporate norms and where they are left unpunished, everyone suffers, most especially those who have sacrificed for the firm.
You should always make your friends know that you are going to stand up for them, both in and out of the office. That is what friendship stands for. Your cooperation has its limits though. By committing a crime, he is putting your means of livelihood at danger. If you have children to take care of, what kind of friendship is he promoting? One doubts if he can make such same sacrifice for you. No one wants to get fired because he wants to protect a precious friendship. You shouldn’t.
Before you run to management though to report for a crime committed, better make sure you understand the values and the societal norms in your area. It might be your friend, or not, but what you should be interested in is that the firm’s interest and the interest of everyone, is well protected. If the criminal will not cooperate but is likely to retaliate in some other way, you should be very careful how you go about it. But if the cheat or criminal behaves more cooperatively, then you will have gained both a colleague and a friend.
To agree or not depends on you.
Sometimes, we lie for good causes. No one is debating the morality of a lie or not, rather what you should expect of your friends if you want them to cover-up for you in the office. If you are known to be a fighter for the common good, to have sacrificed yourself for the success of the firm, you could get a sympathetic ear; otherwise you will surely get punished, especially if money is involved. Remember, the world is a difficult place. People can be deceptive or manipulative because they are seeking material advantages over others.
When someone asks for you to help him from a wrong doing, whatever you chose to do, to help or have him punished, be careful of your decision. If you ask me, I’d make sure my decision was going to benefit the common good.
Can you add to the list? The comment box is below, or you can join the facebook group or join my group on whatsapp by writing your phone number on the comment box below.
