Will she marry rich or poor? Wealthy women seeking sexual partners see no difference!

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It is not difficult to see a woman riding her Limousine, having a chauffeur driven Mercedes Benz or driving the streets on a Hummer Jeep in our modern times. Time and economic development have helped to narrow the gap between men and women in terms of financial strength and political voices. Have they also been helped in terms of seeking sexual partners?

I believe so.

Ticket officePhoto credit: Flickr.com, Loungerie

I grew up to believe, and I think that I am not the only one, that women agree to marriage when the man is rich and has several investments to his kitty, while men usually tend towards women who appear to have the ability to raise up their children, submissive and can arouse them sexually. These days, women are getting financially independent and are bearing the same financial responsibilities as men; some are the breadwinners in their homes. This independence has changed the age long belief that they will marry rich. Women see no difference again. They now marry for something higher than material wealth.

Success and the ability to survive between generations have always been determined by tradition and society. Women were made to believe that raising healthy offspring depended on material wellbeing. The men were made to believe that success depended on having a fertile woman, a woman with alluring physical form, who would raise him boys that will inherit his property. These are what society and tradition have fed to us for years. We have passed on these beliefs to our children.

GenerationsPhoto credit: flickr.com

Times are changing. It has been proved that where the gap between men and women have been narrowed, in terms of education and finance, the gap between the mental abilities of men and women have also narrowed. Would that be the same for choosing a marriage partner? Marcel Zentner and Klaudia Mitura of the University of York, UK, seem to be saying “yes.” They found that when women are given more power in the society, they tend not to rely on the wealth of a man when agreeing to marriage. They depend on something other than wealth. Their choices too do not fall far from that of men.

Does it mean a woman who has climbed the corporate ladder, is wealthy financially, has all it takes to be independent, will marry a man less wealthy than herself without balking, would make herself approachable to a man without material ideas at the back of her mind? It takes a lot for societal biases to disappear. It takes a lot for a man to approach a multimillionaire at 40 and propose to her for marriage when her bank account is far higher than his own.

The onus also falls on the men. They tend to believe that women have lost interest in marriage and have substituted it for fame and wealth. They wonder whether the woman would agree to their societally accepted concept that she should be submissive? A wealthy woman scares most men away.

Courage, courage, folks!

If the study by the UK scientists is to be believed, then men should throw these fears aside. Approach them, please, and do propose. You could end up marrying a rich woman by putting on your courage hats!

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Men might think that women who have chosen to follow a successful career path are reluctant to commit themselves. But realize that the chosen careers might be time and attention consuming that a sensible, passionate and loving man can draw up the natural inclination in them to think of marriage again. Do not be overwhelmed by their strong personalities. Women desire the good things of life like everyone else does. I refuse to believe that no woman wants to remain childless; they simply do not know how to balance between a career and a home. With increasing financial power in their hands, the decision becomes more difficult.

A discerning man can help his woman. Do not let societal expectations hold you back when you love a woman.

Source: Stepping Out of the Caveman's Shadow: Nations' Gender Gap Predicts Degree of Sex Differentiation in Mate Preferences.

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Speak up when you have premarital anxiety since love might not be enough when cold feet is at your door step

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Love - that four letter word. We all confuse lust for love and vice versa. One of the real test of our love, when love stops being blind, is when marriage is proposed. You see, when marriage comes into play, the blindness of love disappears.

Premarital blissCredit: Flickr.com, N08

This is because when we are young, we can throw away the serious nature of commitment keeping and concentrate on having fun. As for marriage, marriage is what we view as something more permanent, a lifetime commitment. When marriage is approached, the little faults and problems we used to ignore come into light.

Some of the doubts we could be blind to during the stage of love are doubts about compatibility. The pressures of finding the “perfect match”, along with the fact that we all have our individual differences. When we have experienced emotional or physical abuse, betrayal, dishonesty, addiction, differences in sexual orientation and drastic disagreement about crucial issues, doubts can also come up when marriage is approached. If you want your marriage to turn out to be a success, you must have to speak up.

Cold feet towards a marriage proposal should not be ignored, especially when a woman develops one. A University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) study has demonstrated that pre-wedding uncertainty, especially among women, predicts higher divorce rates and less marital satisfaction years later. Never ignore those warning signs.

If there was no love, then there’d be no marriage. Despite that, do not take love as an excuse that marriage will turn out fine when and if you have cold feet. Love is and has always been so easy and free. Sometimes, you are wont to think that there are no responsibilities attached to love. Without love, a marriage will not work. Love, though, is not enough.

Days after marriage has been proposed, it is natural for anyone to have to worry about whether he/she is fit for marriage. We all have our anxiety symptoms when it comes to marriage. When you are experiencing one, take time to understand what the reasons for the anxiety are. It is a dangerous thing to ignore those anxieties and risk losing your marriage less than four years later. Analyze them and consider whether they are central to your happiness. Is he abusive? Does he like to control you? Is she overly obsessive? These questions when breached can help you detect the likely future source(s) of trouble in your marriage.

You have to deal with that anxiety. If you wish that it will just go away, then it will likely escalate. Have a conversation with your future partner about it. Be honest about your feelings. Be open to him or to her. The big issues that concern your future as a couple must be addressed. But, it will not be easy to share your doubts. It will discomfort your partner when you point them out to him. When the conversation is handled in a loving way, there will be understanding and the problem will be approached. You never might know; your partner might have doubts himself he’d like to share.

Always remember that no matter how perfectly matched two partners are, they will always have differences between them. If those differences result in anxiety symptoms when marriage is proposed, never ignore them. Work out success strategies that will ensure your marital success.

No matter why you want to get married, whether for political, economic or for reasons best known to you, love should be the foundation for a healthy marriage. Yet, love is not enough if a partner has cold feet. Do not think that the fun of love and youth will translate into a happy marriage; that you can just ignore your fears. Never start a marriage that might end up at the rocks some years later. Build your home on the rock of Gibraltar; as if on unshaken foundations.

Source: Do Cold Feet Warn of Trouble Ahead? Premarital Uncertainty and Four-Year Marital Outcomes

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ANNA LOVES HENRY, HENRY LOVES ANNA.DESTINATION NEXT: THE ALTAR, RIGHT? LIFE IS NOT AS SIMPLE AS THAT.

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On a hot sunny day, the sky suddenly turns dark, very dark, as if storm clouds were approaching. What would you conclude? It’s going to rain. Often, we are disappointed when the rain doesn’t come. I have a friend who when he goes to his shop in the morning and finds water at the front of his shop goes instantly for a copy of his bible, because bad people are after his business all over again. “They have started doing incantations against my life,” he would argue. Fortunately for him, he still makes money at his business.

Often and on, when two things happen together, people believe and wrongly too, that the one causes the other.

Take love and marriage for example. When I was young and innocent, and stupid, I used to think that if two people love themselves, then the next step would be the altar. Does love cause marriages? Only the innocent would agree heartily to that. So many other factors cause marriages: money, self-interest, public acclaim or what we call fame, traditional family relationship and so on and so forth.

When one hangs his booths with the correlation is causation camp, he tends to believe in all sorts of superstition and is weighed down with fear, guilt and nervousness. A friend from Agbor told me that children should not be allowed to eat eggs when they are young because it teaches them to be thieves. Why? “Time and again, our elders have found that children, especially those from well to do homes, who are brought up on eggs, tend to take to stealing. It doesn’t happen once, not twice, but many times,” he retorted.

I did not have any data right then to throw his claims away, but I thought he was trying to say my parents should stop me from having eggs when we take tea and bread for breakfast? And then, I was still young. Just in JSS2. There was no way I could unstick him from his belief.

Because I had a bad dream this night and lost my work the next morning, it does not mean the witches who are after my life have begun gaining the upper hand? Nope. I always remember this advice: do not dwell on the bad events of your life, think of what you can make out of your bad experiences.

On the other hand, when two things go together, one can cause the other. Love sometimes causes marriage. Or when you have a good product with the right price, you are surely going to sell more than your competitors.

The caveat is: looking for correlation in everything and sticking to a fictitious, superstitious belief that when we find a correlation, then we have a key, a formula, for some problem that is looking for a solution.

Life is not as simple as that.

Like I used to remind myself: even the devil doesn’t put all his eggs in one basket.

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