I can prove it! I'm smarter.Battleofthesexes by Welleman via Wikimedia Commons
If we tend to label boys as stupid and girls as cleverer, the answer does not lie in the gene. It lies in us, the adults and how we have structured the society. The answer lies in the self-confidence we have imbibed in these young adults as teachers, parents and guardians of their psycho-social, moral and intellectual capabilities.
The answer lies in parental and educational expectations we place on them. These expectations have created a gender inequality in education in Africa because most parents believe girls are good only in the kitchen and for giving birth to babies, so what uses wasting hard-earned money investing in them?
The answer lies in our cultural biases; as noted also above. How many girls are taught leadership education? A girl would be scoffed at if her aim is to be the President of the country in the future.
It is also found in the school system. How are the curriculum developed? What is the aim of policy, educational programs and teacher professional development programs in our schools?
Let’s start making these issues straight before labeling those young adults as clever, stupid, dull, smart, brilliant etc, especially writing gender labels that won’t wipe away easily.
It is not difficult to see a woman riding her Limousine, having a chauffeur driven Mercedes Benz or driving the streets on a Hummer Jeep in our modern times. Time and economic development have helped to narrow the gap between men and women in terms of financial strength and political voices. Have they also been helped in terms of seeking sexual partners?
I grew up to believe, and I think that I am not the only one, that women agree to marriage when the man is rich and has several investments to his kitty, while men usually tend towards women who appear to have the ability to raise up their children, submissive and can arouse them sexually. These days, women are getting financially independent and are bearing the same financial responsibilities as men; some are the breadwinners in their homes. This independence has changed the age long belief that they will marry rich. Women see no difference again. They now marry for something higher than material wealth.
Success and the ability to survive between generations have always been determined by tradition and society. Women were made to believe that raising healthy offspring depended on material wellbeing. The men were made to believe that success depended on having a fertile woman, a woman with alluring physical form, who would raise him boys that will inherit his property. These are what society and tradition have fed to us for years. We have passed on these beliefs to our children.
Times are changing. It has been proved that where the gap between men and women have been narrowed, in terms of education and finance, the gap between the mental abilities of men and women have also narrowed. Would that be the same for choosing a marriage partner? Marcel Zentner and Klaudia Mitura of the University of York, UK, seem to be saying “yes.” They found that when women are given more power in the society, they tend not to rely on the wealth of a man when agreeing to marriage. They depend on something other than wealth. Their choices too do not fall far from that of men.
Does it mean a woman who has climbed the corporate ladder, is wealthy financially, has all it takes to be independent, will marry a man less wealthy than herself without balking, would make herself approachable to a man without material ideas at the back of her mind? It takes a lot for societal biases to disappear. It takes a lot for a man to approach a multimillionaire at 40 and propose to her for marriage when her bank account is far higher than his own.
The onus also falls on the men. They tend to believe that women have lost interest in marriage and have substituted it for fame and wealth. They wonder whether the woman would agree to their societally accepted concept that she should be submissive? A wealthy woman scares most men away.
Courage, courage, folks!
If the study by the UK scientists is to be believed, then men should throw these fears aside. Approach them, please, and do propose. You could end up marrying a rich woman by putting on your courage hats!
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Men might think that women who have chosen to follow a successful career path are reluctant to commit themselves. But realize that the chosen careers might be time and attention consuming that a sensible, passionate and loving man can draw up the natural inclination in them to think of marriage again. Do not be overwhelmed by their strong personalities. Women desire the good things of life like everyone else does. I refuse to believe that no woman wants to remain childless; they simply do not know how to balance between a career and a home. With increasing financial power in their hands, the decision becomes more difficult.
A discerning man can help his woman. Do not let societal expectations hold you back when you love a woman.
Source: Stepping Out of the Caveman's Shadow: Nations' Gender Gap Predicts Degree of Sex Differentiation in Mate Preferences.
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