Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Is virginity important? Mothers, help your partner speak to the kids about sex!

Sex! The word means several things to several people. In some cultures, it is a taboo word for children. It might mean facts about male and female bodies and how these work. It could also refer to human development, like the stages when the penis becomes important, or when the breasts start to develop. It could refer to reproduction, types of relationships that we make and what makes a relationship healthy or unhealthy. Sex can also refer to sexual behavior, how to prevent pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases (STD).

When children have questions about sex who will they turn to? Parents should make sure their children should turn to them and not to their playground friends. In this regard, mothers are known to be doing well. They are more likely to talk to their children about sensitive topics such as sexual behaviors. Generally, the fathers are lagging behind. Despite this, all hope is not lost. Mothers should help their mates speak up more to the children about sex. By much persuasion and repetition, fathers can also join in teaching their children to respect sex for what it is before adulthood.

Fathers need help.

Research has found that when fathers are exposed to campaign messages, they demonstrated a consistent and increasing pattern of father-child communication over an 18-month period compared to fathers who were not exposed to these campaign messages. Because mothers have placed it upon themselves to talk about sensitive issues to their children, they do not need to be reminded or prodded about it. What this means is that fathers are not living up to their duties to help their children face the challenges of growing up. They need help. Mothers, take note!

Raising children comes with much responsibility. Mothers cannot do it alone. Statistics has it that by the time they are 19, seven out of 10 teens have had sex. Teens have very high rates of sexually transmitted infections. If you don’t live up to your responsibility, your kids will learn about sex from somewhere else, either from uninformed young people like themselves or from the t.v. Your role as parents is to make sure your children have the right information.

Keeping silent about approaching this sensitive topic can affect your their feelings and behavior about sex for the rest of their lives. They may grow up thinking that sex is something scary or embarrassing. Where they are curious enough, they will give in to peer pressure. If your children are hesitant about talking to you, make sure you make yourselves approachable. Respect their privacy of views and the chance to make their own decisions, but that you will always be there for them when they need help. It is wise to start early with your children. Doing so makes it easier for them to turn to you when the sensitive issues come up. Your kids will grow up with healthy sex lives, are more likely to delay sexual activity, have fewer partners and respect health warnings about sex.

Practical ways fathers can approach the topic of Sex

How, a father might ask, do I start helping my children with sex? It depends on the relationship you have built with your children. It is better though to use everyday life and scene, like when both of you are watching TV shows that has puberty as a theme, or going out on a date; sometimes when both of you are watching an ad that could inspire thoughts about body acceptance. One practical way also is showing your children pictures of pregnant women. Your conversation with them turns out to take a natural and easy bent this way.

Fathers too should attempt to start early and make the frequency of the discussion high. This implies spending more time with your children. You can even start today.

When questions come up

When questions come up, you could follow these practical steps while answering their questions about sex and sexuality.
  • Try to find out what is really being asked.
  • Use viewpoint questions, like: “What have you heard about that”? or “Can you tell me what you already know about that”? Understand what is really being asked before offering an answer.

  • Don’t answer too much information.
  • Give only truthful, short and simple information.

  • If you don’t know the answer, say so.
  • It is better you postpone giving the answer than make your children think other persons are more capable than you are.

  • Check their understanding.
  • After answering a question, you could ask: “Does that answer your question.”?

Fathers can make a difference in the life of their children by buying out time to talk with them. Doing so will help father and son to build strong relationships as well help these young ones stay clear of pursuing unhealthy and regrettable sexual lives. So, fathers, start talking to them today.

By the way, to all the mothers who are setting the example, help your man to do so where he is lacking. It is for the sake of your children.

Source: Repeated Exposure to Media Messages Encouraging Parent-Child Communication About Sex: Differential Trajectories for Mothers and Fathers

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